I’ve been thinking about the way we talk to each other.
There are several stages to the way we communicate.
The basic stage – this is where we chat about the weather, or how late the trains run – this is the stuff we can say to anyone.
Then there’s the fact finding or information giving stage. Partners will often call this the nagging stage!
Then it’s the views and opinion stage . Pubs are full of this type of conversation!
We then move onto the slightly more scary stage which is where we talk about our feelings. This can make us vulnerable.
Eventually when we know someone very well we can end up in rapport. This is where you know someone so well that you trust them and don’t feel vulnerable when you share your emotions. Occassionally you finish off each others sentences…… Can be annoying which can then bring you back down to sharing feelings – then when that’s exhausted we go to the views and opinions. After we’ve done that we bark orders and then when things have calmed down but we are still miffed we do the small talk!
With those we love we can go up and down these stages. The trick is to stay in rapport. Being able to share our feelings without getting angry.